i basically bailed on just being because happiness is just too easy
when things are good they are at their worst
but happiness isnt easy killing the ego how does one go about killing a part of themselves that is just a hair younger?
to just be is something almost alien and foreign to me now.
it just is a bundle or cluster of energies called emotion and I'm mostly stoic but not anymore
I feel like a mess and will be glad to get past all of this
whatever this is
I am writing here a draft that was probably years old at the time of writing. I think I can say it has been something like 5 years at this point.
anyway I've kind of relocated ish I guess to